Flexing Muscles
by Dragon'sHost
Summary: Erza, Cana, and Lucy attend a body-building competition, only to witness the birth of the most amazing/terrifying muscle-bound trio. Armada project: 10/365


**This is, hands down, the best OT3 in existence. There is no contest.**

 **Since the original title was too many characters long for this site (apparently), I had to change it. But it's probably the best title I've ever come up with, so I've posted it below.**

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 _ **Manliness Has Been Passed Down Through The Armstrong Family For Generations!**_

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The sight of a vigorous waving arm drew Erza's attention to the brunette it was attached to. "Erza!" Cana called out, grinning. "Lucy! I saved you guys some seats!"

"That was very kind of you, Cana," Erza remarked as she drew closer to her guildmate amongst the nearly full sea of fold up chairs.

"And they're fantastic seats!" exclaimed Lucy, grinning widely. "Right in the front! Who did you have to bribe to let you snag them?"

"Why..." a sultry voice to Lucy's right said, causing her to flinch, "all she had to do was exist! And we were happy to oblige - especially once we found out you lovely ladies would be joining her as well!"

Lucy let out a nervous laugh, and sat down on the fold up chair beside the speaker. "Thanks, Hibiki," she said, smiling at the flirty mage.

He winked at her. "The pleasure is all mine, I assure you!"

On Hibiki's other side sat Cana, her arm slung around the back of the Blue Pegasus mage's chair. She took a swig from her bottle as Eve sat beside her, and then Erza on his far side.

"Where is Wendy?" Eve pouted, glancing around for the small dragon slayer.

"Carla forbade her from attending," Erza replied. "Probably for the best."

A tanned man huffed as he took up the seat to Lucy's left. "I'm only taking this seat because it's the only one left!" he declared, a light flush staining his cheeks. "It's not because I like you, or anything! "

Sweat rolled down the back of Lucy's head. "Aren't you married...?" she questioned. Though there was something to be said for Ren remaining true to his usual self, even after wedded bliss. Lucy had to wonder what Sherry thought of this - but then she realized that Sherry probably actively encouraged it. It was _Sherry_ , after all.

Deciding to give up on reprimanding Ren (it would only spur him on), Lucy turned to Hibiki. "So what brings you all here? I didn't think you guys would be interested in watching a body-building competition."

Hibiki pushed his hair back, a few stray sparkles appearing at the action. "It's true that none of us three possess the physiques necessary to compete ourselves, but no one possesses a musculature like that of our beloved teacher! We would be remiss as disciples if we failed to cheer him on."

 _'So that's why Erza declined to compete herself...'_ Lucy thought, seeing the red-haired woman shudder violently.

"Doesn't hurt that it's the eye candy event of the year," Cana added. "You've got hunks and babes in the competition _and_ in the crowd! Win-win all around. The only problem is deciding who I should try to take home..."

Hibiki clutched his heart, as if wounded. "Does that mean I have a competition of my own - that of winning your affections?!"

"Not that I care but... who did you two come to cheer on?" Ren asked, as coy as ever and not quite making eye contact with Lucy.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Natsu and Gray thought they stood a chance, so they'll be up on stage. Elfman and Laxus will be too, though I think they stand much more of a chance of winning than our morons."

Cana jerked her chin at the stage. "Speaking of it's starting."

One by one, the contestants began to enter the stage, the fervor of the crowd increasing with every individual coming forward. Lucy stared outright at the men and women lining up, their muscles gleaming in the stage light. Every single one had on the tiniest swimsuit bottoms and bikinis she had ever seen, but any lewdness at the outfits was overshadowed by the bulging, corded thighs and rippling pectorals; the eye instead drawn over every line and contour.

Upon seeing the famed leader of the Trimens step onto the stage, his ginger hair expertly coiffed and grace and power in his every movement, Lucy leaned over to Hibiki and whispered, "I thought it was his magic that made him look like that? Wouldn't that be against the rules?"

Hibiki let out a cheer for Ichiya along with his teammates before nodding and addressing Lucy's questions. "Master Ichiya's body is already like that - his parfumes only bring out what is already inherently present. It takes quite a bit of effort to maintain this form without magic, but it's no trouble at all for Lord Ichiya!"

In the corner of her eye, Lucy saw Erza, very pale, still manage a weak clap as Ichiya flexed for the crowd and blew a kiss in their direction.

Elfman soon followed to great fanfare, his dark skin gleaming as every deep inhale stretched his abdomen and wide chest. He threw a fist into the air as he stepped into place beside Ichiya.

The next individual to step onto the stage was someone Lucy did not recognize, and was introduced as a foreigner. His shaved head glinted, and the lone blond curl swayed in the gentle breeze. He fell into a power stance upon reaching the line, his glutes and the butterfly of his trapezius shown to maximum effect.

Immediately, Elfman and Ichiya faced off against this adversary, each putting on a display worthy of the gods, the three seeming to bond over their overwhelming, beautiful, powerful muscles.

"Men!" Ichiya shouted.

"You're a real man!" Elfman declared with a grin.

The foreigner laughed along with them. "Manliness has been passed down in the Armstrong family for generations!"

Then together, the three flexed. "Look at us SPARKLE."

Brilliant light shone off their forms, the spotlights catching the sheen of their sinewed bodies as they posed for the roaring crowd.

Erza fell off her chair in a dead faint.


End file.
